OMG...SHEisDOPE: Chanel Chase
Chanel Chase is a God-fearing woman who isn't perfect but strives every day to become a better woman of God. She is an author, entrepreneur and inspirational speaker who shares her testimony to help others realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This woman has been through troubling times even though her friends and family thought she was perfectly fine, especially being known as the Valedictorian of Miles College in 2012. At her breaking point, Chanel decided to seek a stronger relationship with God and made the decision to become celibate, which is a difficult task in these modern days thanks to social media and iPhones.
Her #1 selling book on Amazon, "Pain, Process, and Purpose: The 3 P’s to Finding Your Spiritual Identity," is written for women who are struggling with identifying their purpose and their identity. Young women, no matter their walk of life seek love and often it's with the wrong person, but Chanel explains how she overcame heartbreak and humiliation to become who she is today.
Q&A w/ Chanel Chase
Q: In the intro of your book, you layout being lost which started with a toxic relationship and staying in that relationship because of various reasons. How can this generation avoid this mistake?
A: Our generation is complicated. We crave new relationships, new things, and we all want to feel empowered, which I feel is a great thing. The problem is that we are also hard-headed. I believe to avoid making the mistake of toxicity in relationships; we have to be willing to admit to ourselves where our weaknesses are. One of the main reasons that I chose to stay in a toxic relationship is because I was insecure. I lost who I was. I was willing to belittle my value to remain with someone to make me feel complete. The truth was that I needed to get myself together. I needed to find myself and get secure in who I was with God instead of masking my insecurities with false relationships and the appearance of being happy. I believe that if our generation would just be themselves and stop adhering to the pressures of society, we could avoid toxicity. We could be honest and ask for help from God. You know, if our generation were just honest, then everything would help us avoid toxic relationships. Be honest about our imperfections, our insecurities, and our holes and seek Godly counsel to fill them instead of filling them with toxic normalities.
Q: I think it’s so important that young people share this story. Because frankly, when we fall in love in college---it’s usually a woman’s first, serious relationship. Why do you think women turn to love for so many answers to their problems?
A: We turn to love because truthfully, as a woman, it’s one of the main things that we yearn. We yearn to find that one person that will love us unconditionally, which I don’t think is a bad thing. The problem is that we need to learn how to decipher the impostors, fakes, and the real thing. Sometimes, the man can say and do all the right things through deceit, and we fall for it because it’s already the one thing that we are yearning for.
I think that now in our generation, it’s important that each woman finds their value in God. Growing up, I was always in church. I thought I knew God, but I allowed a person to dictate who I was because I didn’t develop enough faith and trust in who God said I was. I wanted to be loved because that’s what I thought was the “ultimate life goal.” I felt like when I fell in love all the places I felt empty would be filled.
The truth was, I needed to experience God for real. I needed to know that the holes could be filled out of love. I thought I was “in love” in college, but truthfully, I was in lust. Love is so much deeper, and it starts with God. I don’t think we can have love without Him. If we start keying in on young people today and teaching them what true love is, maybe going forward, when entering college, their self-value will be a little higher than mine was.
Q: God asked you who you were once. Who are you now?
A: The first time I heard God ask me that question, I was lost, and I didn’t know what my purpose even looked like. Today, I’m a different person. I’m wiser because of my lessons. I’m stronger from the situation, and I’m truly a better version of myself. I’m happy in who and whose I am. My relationship with God is better than it has ever been. I enjoy getting to know Him, and I understand that He loves me. He’s blessed me with a wonderful man in my life, and he’s blessed me with God-ideas I can’t wait to share with the world. I am the girl that learned from my mistakes and I’m growing daily. I’m just blessed to have a glimpse of my purpose, and know that I am operating in the plan that God planned for me.
Who am I now? I’m a person that’s always growing and always willing to learn. I’m a person that has many dreams, goals, and ambitions. Plus, I have a heart that yearns to help people grow spiritually, financially, and emotionally.
Q: That moment on the rooftop in New Orleans where you wanted to jump because you wanted it all to be over. What helped you realize that it wasn’t over, but a new beginning for you?
A: Definitely not me! Smh. It truly was my friends. Thank God that as I was going through the process of getting over the relationship, God blessed me with some friends that could see me. Even though they never knew the depth of the hurt I felt, when all of this happened, I was never judged.
When the four of them pulled me off the balcony, it was a reality check. There are some people on this earth that see the gift that God put in me, and I saw the love they had for me. Not once, even to this day, was I ever judged.
They prayed for, encouraged me to go to therapy, and consistently checked on me. That moment opened my eyes to see the God in a dark situation. That circle of friends really saved me, and I’m thankful that God blessed me with such amazing people.
That situation was a wake up call that it was time for me to be better. I felt like I had a little support even though it wasn’t easy, I knew that because God spared me that night, that there was something bigger in store for me.
Q: When you chose to be celibate, how did your life change?
A: Big question, I could literally talk about this all day. I chose to be celibate and at first, to be honest, it wasn’t a big deal. I thought I can do this, and to me, it hadn’t got that deep. It was the fear of what God would do if I wasn’t obedient. My journey had taught me too much. However, after I believe the first six months, is when I realized that I couldn’t do it on my own will. At first, I thought this is something that “I” can do, but later, I found out it's something that “me and God” would do.
My life changed because I had to learn some life lessons. First, I learned to be obedient. That was something I struggled with and I asked the Holy Spirit to help me. Secondly, I had to learn how to trust God. The first year or so was definitely easier because I wasn’t dating anyone or anything so it forced me to grow with God. Due to that and my obedience, that landed me a spot on the Steve Harvey segment with Megan Good and Devon Franklin talking about celibacy.
During that time, I had began to get frustrated because as I was dating, I was not succeeding because no one was really down with the “no sex” thing. Most thought I was lying. I think it even shocked my friends. As far as my dating life, it kept me secluded. It taught me to pray and wait and have patience. Shortly after my premiere for that show, maybe four to six months, I met my current boyfriend. He was just a friend at the time, but God was still working through me.
Now, I’m in a healthy relationship where my choice for celibacy is honored daily. Not only is it consistently growing my relationship with God, it consistently grows my relationship with my boyfriend. It helps us learn to love each other unconditionally, grow the noise of soul ties, and it helps us trust God. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying that my life is changing because its consistently growing me spiritually and keeping me grounded in the Word.
Q: People are constantly saying, “Trust the process,” but what does that exactly mean?
A: It means to trust God regardless of what it looks like. I’d call that faith. Trusting the process means developing a faith-walk that says that even though I don’t know the end, I know it's good. Easier said than done, of course. But I’d say through my journey, I’ve learned the truth about God’s love for me.
Today, I have heavily put my trust in Jeremiah 29:11, that states that God has a plan for us, not to cause harm but for a future and hope. I’d say that’s what trusting the process is about! God has a plan and we need to understand that regardless it will work out in the end if we trust Him.
Q: Is “THE CULTURE” to blame for many of us “rewriting our paths”?
A: No, I think we are to blame. Truthfully, the culture will forever change. There will forever be a different path you can take, different friends you can have, different habits to adapt and so forth, but we have the ultimate choice. That’s the best thing about what God did is that he gave us a choice. The culture can cultivate our minds or we can allow God to cultivate our minds.
We only try to rewrite our paths when we don’t trust God. Taking things into control ourselves is basically telling God that we don’t’ trust Him. I can’t blame the culture for the decisions I made. I fell in the trap of influence. I chose that path though. I can’t blame my ex, I can’t blame my friends, I can’t blame anyone except myself because I chose it.
That’s something we all need to realize. We can’t blame people for the choices we make. We can’t blame God either. We have to have that moment where we look in the mirror and understand the choices that we made and how to change them going forward.
Q: Sex is such a big topic in today’s world and being celibate, not so much. How can a person remain celibate in a world where sex is more available than ever??
A: Prayer! LOL! No, but seriously, you have to ground yourself in the Word and understand what a soul-tie is. I was attached to my soul-tie for four years. It was very hard to get rid of. What people don’t understand is that when we do create the soul-ties with the wrong person, we inhabit parts of those people spirits. So, yeah casual sex exists, but it's not really casual. That casual situation leads yourself into inhabiting characteristics from that person.
I think really just doing more spiritual research on what sex was created for. I recently visited Sarah Jakes Roberts and her husband Toure Roberts' church, and Toure preached an awesome message on sexual wholeness, and one thing that he said that stuck out to me is, “Forget a sexual transmitted disease, what about a SPIRIT transmitted disease.” That was so real to me. I think that being celibate takes a lot of discipline but just like anything, you have to know the end result. You have to know what you are aiming for.
For me, I chose to wait on my husband in direct obedience from God, but also for wholeness in myself. But that decision takes confidence and understanding that you will definitely have to be patient in waiting on who God chooses for you and understand that the road is not easy, but it’s worth it. You remain celibate by being focused on who you are and understanding that the reward for your obedience will come in the end. I think that it's mental, spiritual and emotional. It’s about guarding our hearts. Sometimes, it’s hard to even focus when the world is doing different things, but I’ve developed spiritual discipline in that area so even if someone is not practicing celibacy, the conversation doesn’t bother me. My friends encourage me, and I understand the decision I made with God.
Q: You mentioned the story of Ruth in your book. What about Ruth helped you realize your own strength?
A: Ruth was patient. She waited to hear from God, and God blessed her with her Boaz. Ruth went through a tragic situation. She was a poor widow and a foreigner, but God still used her. When referring to Ruth, I figured that she endured her hard times and God still had a phase two for her life, which included a bigger assignment. He had the same plan for me. The picture of Ruth showed me that despite my pain, I too, would get up and keep going because God has a phase two for my life, but it was going to require my faith and obedience.
Q: How do you celebrate your success?
A: I normally just hang out with my family and friends. When I first told my friends I was done with my book, they got me cards and we went to dinner and celebrated. Normally, I just enjoy time with my family, my boyfriend, or my close friends. Just something to relax. I work really hard all the time. I work a full-time job training physicians on medical software, I am an investor in forex, run a network-marketing business with my mom and boyfriend, I am an investor in real estate AND cryptocurrency. I also have my real estate license. I’m a best-selling author and speaker, so the downtime is great. Just being able to celebrate what God has done with my friends is all I ever want.
Q: What’s next for Chanel?
A: I’m working on some products that cover my brand as a whole. I’m working on a system that embodies the spiritual, emotional, and financial aspects of my life and what I have to offer people. I’m really excited. I’ll soon have some more products and courses that I’m launching. I will have a new book and some different products to actually help people get from that lost person to fully endowed in what God has called them to do in their purpose. From that, there will be things to help them start monetizing their calling. I’m excited for what God has called me to do! Definitely keep a look out on social media and my website because there will be a lot of changes and juicy content coming soon! 🙂
To keep up with Chanel and her upcoming events follow her on social media @chanelchase and chanelchase.com 😉.
Thank you, Chanel for being a part of SHEisDOPE! What you've been able to overcome and share with the world is remarkable. SiD wishes you the best with your future!!